This is my life right now: 40% baby, 30% husband and family, 20% work, and 10% me (e.g., eating and sleeping; i.e., staying alive and sane); I’ve had to leave out leisure, friends, and research. This arrangement is what happens when you have a full-time career and are a full-time parent.
I never had illusions that, after giving birth, I’d be able to do everything that I used to be able to do, but I did think that I could do some things with the same focus and intensity that I used to have.
Oops. My bad.
For example: As I’m writing this (on my phone), baby Mio is sleeping in my arms and I’m waiting for my tablet to finish charging. I can’t put Mio down because, thanks to the 4-month fussies/sleep regression, he’ll wake up, and I can’t do work (i.e., check papers) because it’s all on my tablet.
This is my new normal: Always in between things, always unfinished. I’m no longer able to do anything with focus and intensity.
On the one hand, I miss my old normal (especially when it comes to work; i.e., I miss not needing to multitask). On the other hand, I don’t want to miss a single thing as Mio grows and discovers the world (He can grasp things now! He can roll over too!). The latter is clearly more important than the former. (Sorry, old ways.)
All in all, what this new normal has revealed to me is this: I used to do many things—perhaps too many things—and most of those things no longer matter to me or are no longer worth my time.
Oh well. It’s time to move on. Not just because my life has changed, but also because Mio just woke up, haha.